Friday, October 5, 2012

Am I Doing The Right Thing?

After I accepted the offer to be an intern at Polyface last February, I asked this question a lot.  I knew I had heard from God regarding accepting the internship, but it seemed that very often I found myself questioning my decision. Fear that was (of course) not from God would creep in and cause me to doubt and question. But God reminded me over and over and well, over again, that I had made the right decision and was on the right path.

Romans 12:2 says:
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I love this verse because it basically tells us how we can test and approve God’s will for us. And I don’t know about you, but I want to know what God’s will is for me! The act of not conforming to the world and being transformed by the renewing of my mind helped me so much during the time when I was preparing to go to Polyface.  And the thing is, it was a constant, deliberate act, and still is.  It is not something I had to do once and then move on, I had to remind myself over and over again not to conform to the world; not to be influenced by what the world thinks, but to be influenced by God’s Word and what HE thinks. In practice, this means spending a lot of time with the Lord.  It means seeking Him out, reading His word and spending time in prayer.  It also means seeking wise counsel from others who love Jesus. 
One Friday night last February, I decided when I got home from work I would work on my house and start preparing for my move.  When I got home, I came across something that filled me with incredible fear about my decision.  I was instantly paralyzed and could not focus on preparing my home for the move.  Instead, I went over to my dear neighbor’s house to watch a movie (or maybe it was a soccer game).  When I got home after the movie (or the game), I just sat on the couch and prayed.  “Lord, did I make the right decision?”  I asked.  “Am I doing the right thing?”  I mean, quitting one’s safe and comfortable job to go work on a farm for minimal pay is SCARY.  So anyway, after a little while in prayer, I did the next holiest thing and got on Facebook. ;-)  While I was perusing the very important details of everyone’s lives, I came across a link to a blog post from a church friend. Her post was about letting go of control. She was writing about a message they gave at church last October.  As I read, my heart started racing! I remembered that message.  It was called “Letting Go of Control” and it was about giving control of your life (all aspects) to God.  My friend had posted a link to the message online so I started watching it. As I did, tears started to fall down my face.  In the message, Pastor Shawn encouraged us to think about the aspects of our lives that we are reluctant to release to God.  These could be relationships, finances, careers, you name it.  Under everyone’s chair was a piece of paper and a pen and we were encouraged to write down one thing that we wanted to give control of to God. When we went up for communion, we were to deposit the paper into the bin at the front of the church as a symbolic relinquishment of control.  As I sat watching the video I remembered what I wrote on that paper that day: “My Career.”  And just like that, the fear was gone.  God reminded me that I have given control of my career to Him and that He was in charge.
So, the renewing and transforming of our minds can come in many ways when we seek the Lord.  All you have to do is seek Him.  And when you do, and are willing to move according to His will, He’ll make a way for you.  Get ready. It’s pretty awesome.  
P.S. Thank you to those of you who have donated.  I am so very, very grateful!

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